When facing the breakdown of a relationship, the most important thing to remember is to
manage your state of mind. Your state of mind can determine whether your separation is
amicable or conflictual, short, or long, costly or cost efficient. Here are some tips to help
guide you navigate through the difficult process after the breakdown of a relationship.
1. Be Prepared
See a family lawyer as soon as you can, it is wise to see a lawyer even if you are just having
thoughts about separation. Seeing a family lawyer early in the process can help you plan
your separation and divorce in an amicable way resulting in a more cost effective and less
stressful experience.
Try and establish some savings to help support you through the process of separation. The
process can be slow, and it often takes months for orders to be made or for you to receive
financial support from your spouse.
2. Gather your documents and Financial Records
We see numerous cases where at the time of separation one spouse takes all of the
financial records or one spouse leaves the home without thinking about what they may need
to prove their finances. Disclosing financial information is a fundamental part of any property
settlement and you will be required to provide documentary evidence of your financial
position.
3. Think about what arrangement will be best for your children.
It can be hard for children when their parents separate. It is important that you focus on what
is best for your children right now, and into the future.
Don’t criticise your children’s other parent or pressure your children to make decisions about
their own care. Children love their parents, and it can be harmful to put them in a situation
where they feel that they have to choose between their parents.
If you are thinking about separating from your partner you will need to consider
accommodation options for your children, you may also consider after school care and most
importantly continued access to family and friends. It is also wise to make sure that your
children have access to services that can offer some emotional support they may need
during this difficult time.
4. Think about your possessions.
It is likely that you and your spouse will share a lot of possessions and you will need to
consider what will happen to them.
Start with the big things like your car and furniture. You will need to think about who is
entitled to each item and who will keep it. Don’t forget to consider any loans and finance that
may apply to your possessions.
Be honest with yourself about possessions that you feel you really can’t live without.
Separating is stressful enough as it is and getting caught up in battles over small possession
can make the situation even more taxing.
5. Build a support network
Having a good support network around you makes all the difference during this difficult time.
Speak to you closest friends, let them know what is going on, and give them the heads up
that you may need a little extra support over the coming months. Know who you can talk to
and never be afraid to reach out and ask for a bit of help.
There is no common way to respond to separation and divorce and every situation is
different. There are many organisations across Australia that can offer support and advice
either in person or over the phone. Never hesitate to make enquiries about getting some
further support.
